Twit!

2009-07-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

Recently, my friend and I had this short debate lasting 10 minutes, on the premises of "elite education".

You see, it was based on the fact that people reject others just because they have "a higher standard of education". Comparison of neighbourhood schools and reowned schools would be the main reason why the debate started.

First, I thought. What are the differences between the two categories of schools? I believe there are none, as the school in a way teaches the same syllabus if you were to compare. However, there is nothing stopping the comparison. Personally, I feel that there is a large gap between us and the other "elite" schools. Could it be the impact that the general public has imprinted on us?

My friend proceeded to clarify and showed me a short article, which showed the history of those schools. It seems that they have quite an amazing history as Singapore evolved - which is probably why there are many "aunties" who believe that these schools are better than all. However, this may not be the case. If you do not stand for the values of the school, there is no point at all in sending your child into that school. I'm pretty sure everyone wouldn't do that just to get a school name imprinted in your certificates.

However, this occured to me. Who decides who gets into what school? Every school started out the same way, but what makes it differ? If the aggregates of each school remained constant, what makes students who score better than the constant go into that school?

Elitism.

2009-06-10T04:11:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I browse the net and I ponder.

Why do people behave like that? Is it their upbringing? Is it their pretence?

"Trolls", as what the netizens call them, are really, really irritating when you do encounter one. Sometimes you wonder who the person is behind the monitor screen.

As many say, would someone be daring enough to insult someone straight in the face without the veil of anonymity that the internet provides?

Not only across the internet, people in real life do that as well. So cocky, so vain, so proud of themselves. They feel that they are above all - all should listen to them, and they have the first rights to everything before anyone else does.

The presence of them irks me.

It's like, you don't want to know them or get close to them after all.

But, it's easier to make friends than enemies isn't it? You can't judge a book by it's cover.

But first impressions last. And they leave an etch in your mind, marking the very first time you have known or seen the person.

Sometimes people can change someone's first impression. I recall my first impression of this person, so charming and eye-catching - however, as the days fly past, I realise that the person is nothing but an empty shell. Someone wanted to be filled up - either with the rage of other people or by revelling in the attention they receive.

Is this the natural way humans should behave in? Destruction, war, hatred, envy, wrath, gluttony, greed?

Have we strayed far away on the things we were supposed to accomplish? Therefore, leading to the question again,

What is the meaning of life?

2009-05-30T07:54:00.000-07:00

Karma.

Do you believe in it?

I do. What is karma you may ask? It's none other than divine retribution - when you do good, you get good back. When you do bad, you get bad back. It's simple, yet confusing at the same time.

Lets say Person A hated Person B very much. After they finally end their war and stop conciliation with each other, Person A moves on to be friends with Person C. However, Person C does not seem to care much about Person A, and thus Person C hates Person A. This vicious cycle.. it never seems to intrigue me.

However, karma can work the other way round - doing good can give you good results. Easily you can tell that if you put in effort in your work, you get good results. Treating someone to the best you can gives you good karma.

Today, I met some of my friends for an outing. As I sat down on the stone chair waiting for the train to arrive, I looked around. Everyone seemed to be in their own business, and I wondered how it was like to be in their shoes. Why do we exist? Why are we here, at this very moment? What is the meaning of life?

These questions immediately popped up in my mind. I just.. couldn't find an answer. Even the smartest of minds I believe, cannot comprehend the meaning of their existence. What happens when you die? Where do you go? Is there reincarnation?

These questions can never be answered.

2009-05-20T03:45:00.000-07:00

The staleness of this blog.

The scent reeks of dustiness.

And today, I feel... wrong.

Not in the right way. When I usually do feel.

The more I look, the more I find its flaws. It feels like.. a hunter watching its prey.

Where to attack, where you think it'll defend.

But like hunting, I, too have a somewhat weird attraction to it... I don't understand how this works at all.

It's bad to see everyone feeling sad about their results. I sympathise.

However, is it their fault that they'd score so badly? Maybe the subject isn't their forte.

This despair, maybe I haven't felt it before, thus I cant comment much about it. You just don't know how to understand, how to feel, experience what they are feeling. And your efforts to comfort them are futile.

These mixed feelings... It kills you on the inside. You feel that your heart is rotting and deteriorating.. slowly and painfully.

On the cheerful side, it's great to see people have done well for their subjects. They're proud of it, and they deserve to. It's the fruit of their labour.

I feel like shouting out, just shouting, very loudly.

2009-05-05T05:46:00.001-07:00

This is unacceptable.

I haven't even started studying and yet I'm still here relaxing when many people are revising for the Mid-Year Exam.

Why do I seem so nonchalant about this exam?

It just makes no sense. I should be studying now, for anything. Physics, Social Studies, Mathematics, Chemistry, but I just cant brace myself for what's coming.

I take one exam and forget about it immediately. I never want to look back at what I've done because I'll always end up regretting my carelessness.

This should be the last post in a while, at least when the Mid-Year Exam ends. And due to my friend's enlightening speech, I should go study my Physics now.

I don't see how Social Studies can render so many people helpless. It's just mere remembering of the facts and truths, and as what Danial had mentioned in his personal message, the truth always rhymes. If it does not make any sense, why write it down? One cause leads to another reason, one reason sparks another cause and this cycle never ends.

The Sri Lankan Tamils are a hapless bunch of people. The way the Sinhalese are treating them are simply outrageous. They are just driving them out of what they think is their country.

I'm blessed to be staying in Singapore. Among all these cultures and races, where everyone is unique and no fights break out for racial and religious indifference.

Till next time, au revoir, amigo.

2009-04-29T06:38:00.000-07:00

I've never felt so down before.

My folly caused this.

I just don't understand why.

Sometimes when someone stands up for you when you're in the wrong, you just want them to stop.

Because you know you're in the wrong.

It just goes against your conscience doesn't it?

You just want to get away from it, and when someone tries to get you away, you are reluctant to move.

Like a statue having to make way for a building. Should it end its life or become one with the building?

This isn't the way it's supposed to be. It wasn't clear enough.

Not crystal-clear. Not like water.

More like the Dead Sea. Which is what I've become now. Murky, emotionless.

If you're reading this, I'm sorry.

2009-04-24T07:23:00.001-07:00

Rage and Envy. Two of the things that make someone go crazy.

Angry that I had not done well.

Envious of other people who have a more matured mentality.

Sometimes, when I look back, I realise that all the mistakes I had made changed my pathway of life forever.

Had I studied well, I wouldn't have known all my great friends here.

Had I studied well, I still would get looked down at.

Envy.

You always are jealous of other people. Don't hide it, it's true. No one is perfect.

And then, you hate yourself for not having what they have. They too, think they are the same. They want to be you, vice versa.

What if one day, everyone had everything? Wouldn't it be chaotic?

Life is better the way it is now. Without these feelings, it wouldnt be life. It would be paradise.

Rage.

You're always angry that you can't perform well. Let's say you do badly in the physical aspect. You want to train up, but you never do.

You do badly in the intellectual aspect. You want to study, but you never do.

It's these empty promises that make us empty inside.

Empty. Like a ball. Kicked around, treated as objects of entertainment.

I can't say I dont hate myself. I can't say I'm not envious of other people. There are many other people who are also willing to admit that they are imperfect.

Thank you all for making me who I am. The happy me. The cheerful me. Not the introvert, self-centered me whom I used to be.

2009-04-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

You never get what you want, do you?

People wish they have everything - cars, money, attention, reputation, good friends. The list never ends. For me, I too have to succumb to this hunger. The need to have everything.

I want it. So much. But I just cant get it. No matter what I do, someone else is there before I do it. It's just that that person is just faster.

More. The need to have more never stops. It drives me crazy.

Scoring good marks for the test. I want it and I've never gotten it. Disappointing.

And then comes relationships. Some say enjoy your teenage life while you can - it never lasts long. I have to agree too, but to what degree do you have to enjoy it? Achieving the most notorious name in school? Having a boyfriend or girlfriend?

I don't mind people having these affections. But publicly displaying their everlasting love in public places irks me. Not that I'm jealous, I just don't realise why they are never ashamed.

As displayed in my previous posts, twitting. I too have gotten tired of using it. It was never cute. Never funny, just attention grabbing and mind-boggling.

Sometimes I just want everything in the world. Domination. This may cause the end of me - but if I die while succeeding, I shall die in peace. Doesn't look accomplishable now, but who knows, fate and destiny lies ahead of you.

I want to give up. I always end up regretting my choices. I never understand why. I should have studied well for my PSLE, I should have studied well for my tests, I should have made the initiative, but I just never picked up the courage to actually do it. I just didn't bother and left it to someone else to care about it. Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that? We always end up saying we should have. Without prior knowledge of the future, the path that we choose may not always be correct.

Why, why, why. The mighty word that prods a thousand words out of someone.

I have good friends, I have a reputation of being "good at my studies", but I'm afraid I'm about to lose the title. Stress and fatigue is catching up to me and I fear that I may fail in the process of resisting it.

As the Chinese saying goes - ren bi ren, qi si ren, which means to compare one with another, you'd always end up being angry. This phrase perfectly describes the desire of humans, more. Just more of what they have.

My brain needs to stop working. Now.

2009-04-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

20 days of solitude. this blog's been dead for a while.

I shouldn't be twitting for a while. Lately school's been friggin hectic, no time to actually care about all these "cute-cute" jibber-jabber.

Ideas come to my mind when I decide what to actually post next. Probably expect a long post when I actually do come to update.

- CT

2009-04-02T04:09:00.000-07:00

0kays. iie tudae quiite lazy tu upl0ad derrh earth h0ur pics. :D

tudae morninq iie alm0st late. damn sianz. tap pai like that.

qe0q ws next. iie totally 4gt tu study! damn henqq ms mas postponed iit.

amaths kena rail by mdm zuraidah. iie scored 15/20 for emaths. expected.

chem was damn sian agn.

emaths iie gt back miie amaths and iie got 5/20!!!! LOL! SO CHAMPION RIGHT!

chss iie did nth.

chem went thru wkbk.

ICT damn lame. the ms syaz put the stupid lock on derrh c0mp and rui yang say "here g0t l0ck? lucky iie got brinqq key..." damn funny lor.

back here p0sting.

taqq by aliicia tu do thiis quizz.

1.Were you smiling when you woke up this morning?
- iie tiink n0 0ne wakes up smilinqq?

2. When was the last time you met someone new?
- debate workshop derrh teacher. iie dunch socialise alot.

3. When did you last eat pizza?
- last year? l0nqq tiime nvr eat le.

4. Do you drink beer?
- s0metiimes.

5. Do you wash your own clothes?
- only tt time.

6. Are you any good at poker?
- learnt derrh basics, but iie never plae. haha

7. What do you want more than anything?
- iie want tu have derrh $$, g00d grades, etc

8. Are you tired?
- ookay larrhs.

9. Besides your bed, what is your favorite thing in your room?
- COMPUTERRZ.

10. Pepsi or Coke?
- coke. pepsi liighter taste derrh.

11. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
- depends. every0ne deserves a sec0nd chance iif y0u gave them a first.

12. Do you enjoy piercings and tattoos?
- iie dont liike body art.

13. Taco Bell or McDonald's?
- taco bell. iie dunch like mcd.

14. Are you restless?
- now? yeapps.

15. Is your computer desktop or a laptop?
- desktop.

16. How many friendster views do you have?
- iie hardly check miie friendster.

17. Want to be a prince/princess?
- maybe.

18. Do you believe dreams come true?
- yeapps.

19. Last song you heard?
- Sneaky Sound System - 16

20. Do you like Batman?
- ya. but iie thiink he sucks as c0mpared tu 0ther superher0es.

21. Who is in the room with you?
- n0 0ne.

22. what r u wearin on ur foot?
- air.

23. What was the last thing you ate?
- fox's grape sweet.

24. What were you doing before this?
- eating fox's apple sweet.

25. What is the closest item near you that is blue?
- derrh c0ver of a pen.

26. In your opinion what is the weirdest thing listed on ?
- 0n what?

27. What instant messaging service do you use?
- msn.

28. what is ur fav website?
- www.google.com.sg

29. Whose house were you at last night?
- parent's house.

30. What do you wear more, jeans or sweatpants?
- jeans.

31. What is the last movie you watched?
- ip man. l0nq l0nq tiime aq0.

32. What do you currently hear right now?
- Sneaky Sound System - 16

33. When did you last buy a new pair of pants?
- last 2 mths.

34. Where's your favorite place to be?
- h0me.

35. Have you ever heard of the band Our Lady Peace?
- nope.

36. Where do you sleep?
- my bed larrhs!

37. Where do you shop the most?
- iie dunch sh0p.

38. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
- iie cant rmb.

39. Coach Purse or NFL game tickets?
- NFL!

40. Where was your default pic taken?
- near miee aunt's h0use.

41. Why did you pick your background?
- c0rs itsh niice.

42. Are you happy with where you are?
- kinda.

43. Do you believe love at first sight exists?
- iit depends. iie tiink it does.

44. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
- yeshs.

45.Do you believe that you can change someone?
-yesh!

46. What are you going to do after you do this survey?
- back to GE!

2009-03-31T07:49:00.000-07:00

tiis miight be a b0rinqq p0st.

everyday iie l00k backk at wht iie d0ne. always full 0f reqrets.

why didn't iie catch up wit miee prisch mates? why did iie let myself g0 after miie maid left?

life iis full of reqrets. never 0ne dae euu will look behind and be pr0ud 0f wht euu did. derrhs alwaes sumthin tt euu regret d0inq.

newae, sry fer n0t updatinq. these daes iie chionqq GE. nnd thiis iish als0 sumthin iie regret.

iie did earth h0ur. iie took s0me pics. will add later.

iie just feel sick nnd tired 0f everythinq. why d0es life have tu be like tt? can't pe0ple just agree tt life r0x?

everyone seems like stranqers tu miie. derrhs n0 lonqer derrh familliarity. iie dunch even n0e wh0 iie am.

s0me sonqqs really describe h0w iie feel. iin derrh day euu may see miee hyper nnd all. it may n0t be who iie really am.

iie just really dunch n0e what to say. iie always reqret everythinq.

2009-03-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

haiish. t0tally sianzxxzxzxzxzxzxzxz.

s0rry fer n0rt updating derrh?

m0n iie handed up all miee hw, heehee. thn had IT then formed grp tu d0 pr0ject.

tuesday mdm zuraidah din c0me. s0 1 m0re day tu study, budden n0 difference c0rs n0 one g0 thru with us. sst was lame c0rs shiyin and danial all write funny funny stuffs about bio and maths.

tudae iie flunked my amaths. 0nly knw 2 qns. )): sure faill derrh. maths tut0r fer sst tudae nnd derrh paper was vry easy. why dey all give us papers that cann be finished in 5 mins? =\

haiish. school is t0tally sian nnd iie t0tally nt l00kinq forward tu tmr. q0t emaths test.

2009-03-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

hell0 derrhs everyone!

tuesdae was derrh w0rksh0p. quitte siian. derrh instructor had a deep voice? haha nnd derrh teacher sae iie speak sl0w w0rr. actually iie just speak slowly so dey can understandds! ((:

wed was phy and chem and it. quiite siian but iie planned fer my project fer it. phy learnt m0re abt free body diagrams, and chem filing.

todaee iie rot at home nnd iie just went to eat sakura wiith dad nnd mum! ((:

2009-03-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

bored.

tuhdae was derrh pr0ject w0rksh0p. was quite borinqq, th0 iie did pick up some inf0 frm iit.

lunnch iie went outt of RP t0 eat. been awhile siince iie eat westerrn f00d.

derrh jelly-in-a-b0ttle intr0 by shiyin wuz nt tat great larrhs.

nnd now iie must go finish my c0mp0

2009-03-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

iie lurbb early saturdae morninqs.

iie dunnch noe y, but iie w0ke up at 745. iie played GE fer a while nnd then dad got miee tu g0 0utt wid hiim.

0n derrh way iie saw Keng Lee r0ad. w0nderr iif derrh r m0re street names liike tat?

iie always g0rt nth tu p0st. haha.

2009-03-12T07:07:00.001-07:00

iie lonqq time nvr p0st lerrhs.

these few daes quite sian derrhs. buaytahan.

mps was great larrhs. just c0me n g0.

dinner-ed with parents nnd br0.

2009-03-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

iie tiired sehhs.

iie dunch n0e why, but ppl seem tu be iqn0rinq miee? maybe itshh juz miee.

neways, friiday ii was sick, sh0 iie dinch g0.

saturday iie spent l0ts 0f time with dad.

sunday iie g0 tu t0wn, came back very very tired derrhs.

t0dae iie went school and was very very tired.

nnd now iie muz finish miee amaths nn chi? ):

2009-03-05T04:29:00.000-08:00

RAWR! hahas.

tuhdaae iie vry tired w0rrz. even tho iie slept from 7-9, iie morninq wake up also quite tirred derrhs.

derrh stupid maths iish killinq me! what derrh alpha nn beta all bullcrapp.

haiishs. gna be fri le.

2009-03-04T06:20:00.000-08:00

aiiyas. s0 bored l0rhhs. sch00l gorts nothinqq new.. relief tchr alwaes come n gib h0mew0rk.. n0 p0int when we dunch receive it bak rite?

s0, todaae was b0riinqq. iie gort past lg and ln alr, nns towards sst iie gort tired liaa0s. fiirst time iie actually wanted tuh sleep in derrh class worr. buddens iie still stay awake. go wenshan!

2009-03-03T05:12:00.000-08:00

hahas! tuhdae iie gort nuttin much to sae, just tt logarithm iish killing miie! simple stuff oso dunch understand. haiis.

el period hor, iie was lucky tt iie gort go read up on the definitiions worr. grp 3 won again! =D

haiish. amaths iish shho confusinq. alicia nw know hw tu do amaths questions le, iie totally dunno.

iie gort taqqed by alicia tu do.. nth do nw so iie do..

#1 Besides your lips , where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
- iie never did think abt tis?

#2 How do you feel when you woke up this morning?
- iie feel like slping agn.

#3 Who was the last person you took a photo with?
- lonqlonq time ago. iie think was with lydia?

#4 Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
- iie think abit yes/no.

#5 Would you ever donate blood?
- iie can consider worr.

#6 Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
- yesh! and am still best friends with her.

#7 Do you want someone dead?
- iie dont thinkk sho bahhs.

#8 What does your last text message say?
- Darn. Oh well.

#9 What are you thinking of right now?
- whiie iie gort taqqed for doing tis?

#10 Do you wish someone was with you right now?
- iie wish that.. idk. never really did tink

#11 What time did you go to sleep last night?
- 11.30 pm worr.

#12 Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?
- iie cant rmb.

#13 Is someone on your mind right now?
- alicia fer taqqing me.

#14 Who was the last person to text you?
- azam.

10 PEOPLE TAGGED TO DO THIS QUIZ :
#1 melvin
#2 sooneng
#3 uh, lovell?
#4 alan
#5 yuhang
#6 lydia
#7 ilaika
#8 valerie
#9 jian cong LOL!
#10 kelly

#15 Who is 2 having a relationship with?
- sooneng? iie nort sure worr.

#16 Is 3 a male or a female?
- lovell. female

#17 If 7 and 10 get together will that be a good thing?
- ilaika and kelly. tink they r close le?

#18 What is Number 1 studying about?
- melvin arr. he studyinq comp studies nn derrh rest of derrh e3 subjects.

#20 Is Number 4 single?
- iie dunno.

#21 Say something about Number 2.
- sooneng ah. dunno hw tu sae derrh. good friend nn cann be resourceful at times?

#22 What do you think about Number 3 and 6 being together?
- lovell and lydia. iie tinkk they r together lerrhs?

#23 Describe Number 9.
- jiancong. he iish fishballs. (quoted frm jerryl)

#24 What will you do if Number 6 and 7 fight?
- lydia and ilaika. iie rarely see them fight.

#25 Do you like Number 8?
- valerie. like as in wht? iie like her as a fren

yay!

2009-03-02T04:19:00.001-08:00

haiishs. ytd nn tuhdae wuz very tiring wor.

SUN
morning wake up n den iie plaayed sum comp qames.. dad ask miee tu go hepp miee aunt.. help frm morn to nite worr, den iie c0me bak vry tired.. haiishs. iie went tu slp soon before finishinq miee homework.

tudae iie gotsh miee physics results.. gorts 42/50, harhar. assmbly was about bullyinq. videos were creative worr.
haiish. nutin tu do recently.

2009-02-28T06:30:00.000-08:00

wahhhs.. koniichiiwas mina-san!
diish iish miie new blog worrhxzxz.

lets rant abt todae!

even tho todae was sat, iie still have tu wake upps. iie muz go geog competition at nus. haiishs.

morn miie dad sent me tu schl.

iie go dere liiaos horrs, den iie do derrh questiion paper. walao, so fkin hard siialxzxzx. waste of time nias.

come back home lerrhs den iie slack slack nv do homework. :D iie muz work harder wor. miee CT marks very low.

Eng - 22/40 (euu see! so low wor!)
Math - 47/50 (okiie lahhs. is ok nia.)
Chem - 43/50 (JERRYL LIM won me by 1/2.)
MT - 40/50 (surpriised worr. miee chi very bad derrhs.)

also horrs, derrh phy paper on fridae diffiicult sehh! iie sure nv get qood marks derrh.